Hard Choices
Making hard choices is sometimes really hard isn’t it?
We can agonize for a lifetime on what to do and the consequences of that decision.
Hard choices basically happen for simple reasons, for example, you have either conflict between the benefits of two choices, resulting in no clear choice to decide, or you are simply unclear on what it is exactly that you want in the first place, so neither choice is the solution.
So how do you manage this situation?
In reality, it is impossible to say which choice is the right one for you. Let’s face it, the only way you can actually find out is to decide on one of the alternatives and do it. Even then, the one that you didn’t choose could have been better…or could it? What to do???
Making a decision…is definitely the right thing to do, either deciding which way to go, or just deciding to stay where you are. Inaction is not usually a great option. Not making a decision, overthinking or just drifting means that other factors, or other people, make the decisions for you and you simply go with the flow. This often means that the status quo, which you may be unhappy with, just continues. Honestly, you will rarely be happy with this as you will continue to roll over outcomes of what could have been…or not?
Oh no, not this again!!!
So how do we move forward? Well, it’s going to take some time and piece of paper and a pen.
Ready? OK. Let’s imagine the scenario of choosing between a new alternative and staying where you are.
A few questions may help.
You can write down an answer to each one and more answers to the ones that have multiple answers:
So here we go…7 deadly questions!
1. What is it that you really want? (I didn't say this was easy)
2. Why don’t you get this in your current situation?
3. What could happen if you did do it? (note: positive and negative)
4. What may happen if you don’t do it? (note: again, positive and negative)
5. What are the real facts and evidence for each alternative?
6. Which alternative looks better on paper? (assuming you are writing this down)
7. If you can choose now…what is your plan? (including goal, actions and timing)
And the next bit is easy, if you have a goal and you have a plan…now you can take a decision!
And if you have...Congratulations! You chose, you made a decision!
(And this is really important, do not regret it…just move on, if it doesn’t work out…go back to the beginning and start again. Nobody said happiness was easy, sometimes it takes a few go's)
PS. If you need help with the above, ask a Coach…this is the stuff we do!
I love coaching!
John Swallow